I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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