I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
