That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I will be naked everywhere
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
