It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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