Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
