actually, I'm a sock model
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
wow bdsm is so cute
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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