I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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