If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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