STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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