How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
