He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
