Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
