There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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