my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
