He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
