I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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