Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
