R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
