Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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