Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
