Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
this just has baby written all over it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
