i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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