My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize