do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
