i just had sex bonerless
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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