As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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