Its about making memories worth repressing
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
