We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
