He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
