a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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