You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
