just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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