When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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