He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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