That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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