I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So vagazzling was a success
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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