i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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