mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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