When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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