i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
