Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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