I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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