so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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