I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
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