Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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