I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I just had sex on a roof
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
