her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
