Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize