Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
