Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
