I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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