Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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