i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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