porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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