when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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