Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
