Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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