haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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