I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
i now understand why vodka
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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