is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
