I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
