How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
