At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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