i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
