can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
