our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
