Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I puked a lego.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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