I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
