Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
